Buy a scale! t-shirt

Price: $24.95

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If in fact you’ve been burned every time you suspected a beat count, a scale would have more than paid for itself by now! For less work than it’ll take to clean the stems and seeds out of your next bag, you can make an investment that will undoubtedly pay greater dividends than that stock you bought on the advice of your pal whose uncle’s cousin got a hot tip from a guy that works on Wall Street (the guy was a hot dog vendor that heard it from two guys who he thought looked as though they knew what they were talking about; could it have been their finely tailored polyester blend suits?) Remember, each economically resourceful, funny t-shirt we sell is a custom t-shirt made to order just for you.

No, I presently do not have anything better to do than think up and write this shit. That’s the life of a guy who, rather than doing what he went to school for, figured (as of yet incorrectly) he could make money selling t-shirts that he thought up. But don’t knock it, I actually had sex for an hour and a half in-between writing the first and second paragraphs of this product description (remember, you’re only seeing the finished product), and I’m listening to the Zeppelin BBC sessions as I write this. Life could be worse!

All of our Superlative designs are printed on Top Quality, 100% Cotton, Dreaded Thread brand t-shirts!