Former Captain of Industry t-shirt

Price: $24.95

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This “first class” t-shirt is sure to do at least one of two things, you’ll either get some of that delicious, unearned sympathy that you desperately live for, or some angry drunk who thinks it was you who fired him will punch you in the face. Remember, each power-fully funny t-shirt we sell is a custom t-shirt made to order just for you.

How is it that Brown Sugar, which is made with Molasses, can taste so good, yet Molasses sucks? I mean that goop is vile! I guess that’s kind of like good-looking people who have a hideous looking, rich dad and a hot, money hungry mom… Is it not?

All of our Superlative designs are printed on Top Quality, 100% Cotton, Dreaded Thread brand t-shirts!